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Something.. that's been on my mind.
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rainbowdashzx Offline
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Post: #1
Something.. that's been on my mind.
So.. I've been thinking about this for some time now.

I've been in this fandom since October of 2011.. I've been making PMVs since November of 2011. PMV making is really all I know in this fandom. I'm not a writer, I'm not an artist, I can't animate, so for the past almost three years, this is all I've known and done. I've been working with Sony Vegas throughout its iterations for going on ten years now. To be more precise, since about 2005.
I've learned quite a bit, and have been refining my craft for years. Every so often I go through my library of videos to take a look at what I've done. .and it upsets me. It truly, truly upsets me. You can compare my works from 2014, to my works in 2012. They're hardly different, I bring nothing substantial to the table.

I once aspired, when first joining the fandom.. I aspired to make a name for myself. Represent what time practice and dedication could do. In almost three years, I've yet to meet that goal of mine. And as of now its the dim light faintly shimmering at the end of the endless tunnel. What I do isn't impressive. What I do doesn't require skill. What I do requires you to have a dream that motivates you to push forward to nothing. There's not much left for me. The competition has tightened way too much. I don't mean competition in that I want to be better than others, but that what I am trying to do, people are doing better than me. And as I said in my interview, I won't do something if somebody can accomplish what I want to do and do it better.

I've tried learning Adobe After Effects because I've exhausted my resources provided in Vegas Pro. Some of the best videos I've seen have been made in After Effects, not Sony Vegas Pro. But I'm nowhere near that level. I've got a week's worth of experience in After Effects, and nearing 10 years in Sony Vegas Pro. If my work from Vegas Pro is any indication, then it isn't worth my time to learn After Effects.

I've been trying my hardest to bring forth my name to the forefront of PMV Making. From multiple overhauls of my channel design, to attending as many collaborations as I can. I started here as well to try and put my name out there a bit more. None of this has made a difference.

Perhaps.. my time here is done? Maybe I'm just.. not the one to accomplish the dream I had set? I don't know, truthfully I don't. Many times I've been shot down proposing ideas to those I idolize. The very people who motivate me to push forward. And that's only been more and more nails through this theoretical coffin of mine. Since I've been in the fandom as long as I have, I've had the chance ot watch newcomers blossom and become great. Out of thin air here comes someone, a nobody, and they just blow up. Why? Because they're much, much better than I am. And for good reason.

I've told this story many times to many of my friends. StormXF3 - you know the one who does the Real Life Ponies video series, right? I saw him when had was very small, known by nobody, and was just one person having fun editing videos. I decided to help him out. Throw him up in a few videos I was making, put him on my channel, give him some shoutouts, etc. He's become more than twenty times as popular as I have now. And I've since become a nobody to him. Much like the rest of the fandom has. What better motivation is there than watching the people you've helped grow up and forget about you?

Maybe I've got the wrong idea here - maybe I'm looking at this wrong. I don't know. All I know is that for quite some time I've been drastically losing inspiration to push forward. Maybe this is for good reason, maybe it isn't. I can't say, because I don't know.

Thank you for reading this.
03-31-2014 04:05 PM
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selowe2011 Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Something.. that's been on my mind.
just read this and...ouch. I'm just on the beginning of my journey and doing these pmv's for the sake of loving to do them. But I can see after years that it could get frustrating. sorry you feel this way but are you just lacking motivation right now or you think this might be it? response?
03-31-2014 04:27 PM
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rainbowdashzx Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Something.. that's been on my mind.
I've been 'lacking motivation' for months now. I used to be passionate about what I was doing. Until I started to see that what I was pouring my heart into.. wasn't even rewarding to me emotionally. I never felt accomplished, like I've done enough, or that I.. have 'made it.'
03-31-2014 04:40 PM
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Izeer Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Something.. that's been on my mind.
I think you're looking at it from the wrong side.

Let me say you this: Nobody is better than anybody. If you think that someone's better than you, because he's making better videos, and that's a reason for you to stop it, then you're mistaken.

I ain't pro, but from the beginning, I've tried to be better and better. And though Im not on the level that I would be satisified, I reached what I wanted from the beginning, you know why? Because I wanted and desired it.

Having a passion, is about pushing forward, no matter if someone's better than you, or you feel you're not good enough. That feeling should push you to achieve more.

EVERYONE'S THE SAME. Nobody was borned with a skills.
Want to be a good at something? Then train your skills everyday, if you see someone's better than you - learn from him, and try be better than him, and you'll surpass his level sooner or later.
(This post was last modified: 03-31-2014 05:16 PM by Izeer.)
03-31-2014 05:14 PM
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TerriccotaPie Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Something.. that's been on my mind.
I make PMVs for years, but i was never very good. I have a couple of popular videos, but only a few of my subscribers actually watch my videos. And that's fine. Because i do what i do because i like it. Making videos makes me happy. If it makes you happy too, you shouldn't get depressed about things like this.
Izeer is right. Having a passion, is about pushing forward, no matter if someone's better than you, or you feel you're not good enough.

This level of reasoning is possible for TerriccotaPie!
04-01-2014 09:29 AM
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Dr_Stables Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Something.. that's been on my mind.
You shouldn't really do anything just to get some kind of "profit" from it.

All the acclaim will come in time as long as, like the previous posters said, you are doing what you like to. Concentrate on the process, not on possible rewards.


PMV-making is a kind of art, it is not always understood in the same way as it is by you. Keep this in mind as well.
04-01-2014 11:03 AM
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JackDC93 Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Something.. that's been on my mind.
I feel the same way sometimes. I've been making PMV's for a similar amount of time, and I really haven't seen much improvement from myself since mid-2012.

But hey, I'm still here, I'm still making PMV's, and I plan on entering the PMV contest again this year. That's because I know there are people out there enjoying my work, and I want to keep them entertained. Even if my subscriber count is lackluster compared to most, I still see others as motivation to keep me going.

And hey, you have nearly 1,000 more subscribers than I do, so you must be doing something better than me. Big Grin
04-02-2014 03:32 PM
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Jaref Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Something.. that's been on my mind.
There's definitely times where I feel pretty insignificant when I see these extremely professional videos, but I try to not let it bother me too much. Everyone's different, and comparing yourself to other is quite frankly, a waste of time. Spending months on making a video, some people do it, that's great! But it isn't for me. I'm very comfortable with the level I'm at, making relatively simple videos the best I can make them. And I wouldn't have made videos for so long if I didn't love doing it, no matter how little response I got Smile

Any random person can click the sub button. Having 10k subs doesn't mean 10k people will watch your videos. Numbers like subs and view count mean so little, and should never be used as a measurement of success. Put your time and energy where it matters: Putting out quality content!

One thing that keeps me motivated personally is that I have something to offer that others don't, in terms of music and I get viewers who enjoy said music. Could others do a better work than me? I'd love to see it! If only to see a different take on the songs. That kind of comparison I don't mind at all
(This post was last modified: 04-04-2014 06:26 PM by Jaref.)
04-04-2014 06:24 PM
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TerriccotaPie Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Something.. that's been on my mind.
(04-04-2014 06:24 PM)Jaref Wrote:  Any random person can click the sub button. Having 10k subs doesn't mean 10k people will watch your videos. Numbers like subs and view count mean so little, and should never be used as a measurement of success. Put your time and energy where it matters: Putting out quality content!
So true! I have over 1000 subs, but only 30-60 people actually watch my work! Sure, i would like to have more views, because i feel happy when people like my work... But the only thing that really matters is that my content is good, and i am happy Big Grin

This level of reasoning is possible for TerriccotaPie!
04-05-2014 06:22 PM
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Somniis Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Something.. that's been on my mind.
rainbowdashzx, I think the only way you can progress forward is if you are willing to make VFX more than something casual. I found that if I wasn't constantly working on something or making progress, I would delay it. Also to learn you have to apply, correct me if I'm wrong, but you are probably at the point that you feel like you know the software, know the functions, filters, effects and everything. But that is when you start to make your own effects, get creative! blend what you know together to create new scenes. Also getting better, you want to bring something to the table and feel like you can be a significant factor in the fandom. One concept that has worked for me is studying other people's work--mainly Gunca (as I love his style). Getting better has very little with the program you use, its the effort and time you can put into it. Don't be afraid to make something terrible if your learning something new, put it out there, get some feedback and have a laugh! Also besides making PMV's make an occasional silly side project that you can enjoy making. Creating a breath-taking PMV takes a long time and if you are continuously trying to force yourself to finish it, you'll wear yourself out and lose motivation it becomes a chore instead of a hobby. (correct me if I'm wrong) but from what I've seen a lot of other VFX editors have multiple projects going at once and alternate between working on them so if you get editors block you just switch the project. Find things you love with making it, sure there will be things you don't, but there is always something you can enjoy. Pick them out, name them, and put them on a sticky note or somewhere by were you work to remind you to find the joy in it. Anyways I was rambling on, but I hope it helps!
09-10-2014 12:00 AM
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